Brokenness

That feeling when you can see how unfairly you’ve been treated compared to your siblings. That feeling when your heart is being crushed so many times but you continue to love them. That feeling when you’re trying to hold back your tears and you decided to just keep quiet even though it’s painful because no matter what you say, they won’t understand how you feel, they’ll only see your faults and it will turn out you’re the one who feels guilty.

It’s so painful, my heart is aching. But no one will understand. Is it because I’m the eldest that’s why I’m being treated like this? Or is it because they got married because they had me even though they don’t love and understand each other?

They broke me, I have been feeling this way since I can remember.

Maybe I’m at fault here. Maybe I’m just blaming them for everything.

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